If you have been on the internet within the past 20 years you may come to the conclusion it is not a very kind place. It is brash, condescending, quick to react, and also quick to write someone off as “right” or condemnable.
It makes sense that some of these attitudes and ways of being can leak into our relationships. It is important to step back and realize, however, that these attitudes are some of the most toxic things we can do in our relationship.
I ask you step back for a moment and just notice the poisonous, pushing away kind of feeling that many youtube, facebook, and other social media comment sections contain.
One of the saddest things I think about these attitudes, is that they don’t actually bring harmony. Yes, in the case of abuse or extreme misbehavior that is an exception. But what about in times when it’s just two different ways of living life? And moreover, isn’t that what we do on a day to day basis with the people we love? Just live day to day with someone who isn’t exactly you and may have different ways of handling things, seeing things, believing in things?
Respect seems to be clearly lacking if you ask me. An ability to hold two separate realities in the heart of each partner. I think we can do better. But first we have to realize that is a problem.
Consider the Venn diagram. The beautiful part about that middle section is that it holds both sides and becomes its own piece, containing parts of both but still unique in its own way. What does a marriage, a father-daughter relationship, or a friendship look like when it embraces that way of being in a more profound way?
I invite you to chew on this question.